The belief I carried for 57 years.

So yes… these past few months have been quite something. Apart from becoming “Oma,” I also recently entered the practical phase of my Root-Cause Therapy Practitioner certification.

What a powerful modality to add to my life coaching practice.

And since you can only guide others as far as you yourself have gone, the sessions I receive as part of this training are incredibly important to me. Experiencing this work firsthand — and understanding the depth of this beautiful method — feels deeply meaningful.

During one of my own sessions this past week — this time as the receiver — I was reminded again how strongly our belief systems influence everyday life.

They shape the decisions we make.

How we respond to the people around us.

How we show up in friendships and relationships (like my marriage, which rocked pretty badly these past few months).

And something I continue to notice is this:

When old beliefs begin to resolve — beliefs that once made sense but no longer serve us — something shifts. Dynamics change. And so do we.

For this week’s session, I set the intention to explore what sits beneath my self-confidence (or lack thereof at times). I also wanted to loosen my fear of being confronted with anger — another big one for me.

I am consciously aware that I carry a deep, long-held belief that I am not good enough.

On the surface, I’m a confident person. I trust myself and move through life with strength and steadiness.

But somewhere underneath, I knew there was still a small hook. And I also knew it sometimes made me respond with more force than was really needed.

Honestly, I could probably use a little more softness here and there.

During the session, we traced that thread back to a moment with my father when I was about two years old.

He was angry. Very angry.

It was his frustration — his own inability in that moment to manage his emotions. But to a two-year-old, none of that context exists. All you experience is the emotion coming toward you.

So little-me did what most children would do.

I tried to make myself smaller.

I tried to absorb some of his emotion so he would feel better — so the anger would soften.

Because when you’re that young, you don’t think:

“Dad is struggling with his emotions.”

Instead, the mind searches for meaning.

And often the meaning becomes:

It must be me.

I must have felt so afraid, confused and unsure.

And somewhere in that moment, a belief formed:

I am not good enough.

And I carried that imprint with me for 57 years.

During the session I was able to process and release the emotions connected to that moment — gently, without needing to relive every detail. My adult self was able to take little-me out of that situation.

I held her. Comforted her. And brought her with me — in my heart.

Interestingly enough, over the course of my sessions these past couple of months I noticed something else soften too: the dynamics between my husband and me. We found our way back to each other and are in a much better place.

What I was reminded of again is that many of our beliefs form in moments when our nervous system is simply trying to keep us safe.

It’s our system trying to make sense of an experience when we didn’t yet have the context, support, or emotional tools we have today.

Over time, those adaptive conclusions influence how we move through life — and not always in ways that are helpful or supportive.

But when we begin to look beneath the belief, we can better understand the story that shaped it.

Not something we have to fight with, analyze endlessly, or remember in perfect detail.

Just something that can finally be understood, processed, and integrated.

Often without the kind of struggle we tend to associate with personal growth.

I’m curious how this reflection resonates with you. And as you go about your weekend, you may want to ponder this:

What belief do I hold about myself that may no longer be helping me?

Drop me a line. I’d love to hear from you.

With love and respect,

Bo 💜

P.S. These past two months, I’ve been running a pilot for a new personal growth container called Beneath the Belief. It’s a gentle space where we explore and resolve the deeper belief patterns that often sit underneath our reactions and life patterns. While the participants still have another six weeks or so to go, you may feel curious about doing this kind of work yourself. You’re welcome to download the brochure. Even if we’re not working together, it will give you more insight into how beliefs are formed.

Download the Beneath the Belief Brochure ➡