1 In 3 women globally have experienced physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime.*
Many carry this trauma silently.
The Woman I had to Find gives voice to the healing that’s possible.
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* WHO, 2021
THE WOMAN I HAD TO FIND
Healing What Was Never Mine to Carry
It’s time to release what doesn’t belong to me.
The weight of the lies, half-truths, and untruths is just too heavy to haul around any longer.
The secrets end here. No matter how uncomfortable this makes some people feel.
I’m no longer willing to carry inherited silence or distorted realities.
The projections that did not belong to me to begin with… I give them all back to where they came from.
With consciousness attached…
With love… maybe—I still hesitate there.
With boundaries… not a shred of hesitation here.
Not knowing the truth has its own kind of pain, and only ever made me feel more lost.
I’m strong enough—that, I’ve always been.
Let the truth come, in its full and perhaps uncomfortable form.
I need it—to find my way forward.
The full truth brings peace. However painful, always better than a pretty lie.
It’s not easy to revisit the emotions I buried long ago. It takes effort, care, and gentleness with myself.
And I remind myself to be kind to me—to hold space for whatever shows up.
Acceptance for what is.
To release what was never mine to carry.
And to hold on—only—to what is real.
ABOUT THE BOOK
The Woman I Had to Find: Healing What Was Never Mine to Carry traces one woman’s deeply personal journey through generational trauma, emotional and sexual abuse, and the long road to self-trust, embodied healing, and inner transformation.
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The memoir begins with a family Christmas reunion that ruptures decades of emotional repression, forcing the author to finally speak truths that had long been buried.
As the emotional floodgates open, we are taken back into a childhood shaped by silent suffering and conditional love, where people-pleasing and self-erasure became survival tools. These early patterns lay the groundwork for an emotionally abusive marriage to a man who leads a double life—a man whose betrayals leave her emotionally, spiritually, and financially shattered.
At times reading like a domestic thriller, the memoir unfolds in four parts: Disconnection, Rock Bottom, Awakening, and Integration. Through raw, vivid scenes, the reader witnesses the unraveling of a marriage built on deception, the collapse of the author’s body under the weight of trauma, and the rape that became a final violation—but not the end of her story.
Rather than being defined by what happened to her, the author begins to redefine herself. Supported by sisterhood, somatic practices, breath work, new love, and a growing connection to intuition, she begins to rebuild safety and sovereignty from the inside out. Becoming a mother, further deepens her commitment to breaking the cycle of trauma and creating a new legacy—one grounded in softness, strength, and fierce love.
The memoir culminates in a new start for the author and her family—both literal and emotional. In a new home country, no longer seeking approval or permission, she reclaims her body, her voice, and her truth.
From that foundation, and as a certified trauma-informed life coach, she has launched The Inner Circle in the Fall of 2025: a women-only community that offers fellow survivors of abuse a safe place to land. With monthly coaching sessions these women connect with each other, their truth, their voice, and inner power.
At once a healing journey, a reckoning, and a reclamation, The Woman I Had to Find reads like a love letter to survivors of generational trauma and abuse—and a roadmap for those ready to release what was never theirs to carry.
A SNEAK PEEK
I sat on the cold, concrete floor of our downstairs storage unit for what must have been more than twenty-four hours. My legs had gone numb, but I was unable to move.
The grey garbage bags lay open in front of me, spilling out pieces of a life I never knew existed–in another city, another country. A strange woman, with my husband. A dog. A "welcome home" banner on a house that wasn't ours.
I couldn't believe what I was looking at. And yet, I could.
COMMUNITY SUPPORT
Reading a book like this can stir up emotions. It can put a face to things you’ve long felt but never said out loud. It can bring hope—but also remind you of the pain you’ve experienced. And without further support or clear next steps, a book like this can leave you hanging.
Beyond the Book
That’s why I created my Inner Circle Community—and you don't have to wait for my book to be published to join!
You can learn more on my Community page. Have a visit ↓